Choices
by ADsman
Summary: AU. Severus Snape decided to join Voldemort after meeting him in the summer before his seventh year. Sane Voldemort
1. Chapter 1

After the incident at the end of the fifth year, Severus Snape became a loner. Yes, he still maintained 'friendship' with other Slytherins, but otherwise kept to himself. He buried himself in the studies of dark books he obtained through Slytherin system of favours.

But he was slowly losing interest. Interest in anything at all. He no longer possesed the drive he had before his friendship with Lily ended. He had a thirst to prove himself to her, to impress her. But now . . . he had seen her talking to Potter. Talking. Not arguing, talking. And he realized just how strongly he felt for her. It was encruciating. He didn't realize before. Of course, he was just a teenager who felt very little love in his life, so when it came, he didn't even realize. But now he did.

"Damn it to hell." He swore quietly, sitting in the darkest corner of Slytherin's common room.

"Hey Snape!" Someone shouted.

"What?!" He growled.

It was Avery, looking put away by his reaction.

"I apologize." Snape said quickly. "What is the matter?"

Avery passed him a letter. Now when Snape looked at him closely, he could see Avery was looking very, very excited.

"Thanks."

_To Severus Tobias Snape,_

_This letter is charmed so only you can read it. _

_You have been deemed worthy of joining our noble cause. _

_Visit the annual party at the Malfoy Manor at 7th July. _

_Lucius Abraxas Malfoy._

Severus closed his eyes. This wasn't the first letter he received from Lucius Malfoy. It was said that Lucius was one of the inner circle members, thus corresponding with him earned Severus much respect among Slytherins. This was it. Either join, or fight against. But what was there to fight for? For Lily? She was already smitten with Potter, he could see it. Maybe she didn't know it yet, but Severus saw it. It was so unfair.

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**July, 7th**

**Malfoy Manor**

Severus arrived few minutes before the official start of the party was. He was wearing his best clothes and tried to keep his excitement and fear off his face. He was quickly becoming very good at occlumency, so he managed to look respectable and not just some eager teenager.

After an hour or so, Lucius finally approached him. He looked over his clothes and nodded. "He is awaiting you in the study."

Severus slowly knocked on the door of Malfoy's study. He hoped his knees wouldn't give out. He certainly didn't expect to meet the Dark Lord in person today.

"Come in."

He entered and froze in fear. Lord Voldemort stood right behind the door. He felt as if the man in front of him could read his mind like an open book, despite his occlumency shields firmly in place. Voldemort did not look anything like the creature Severus saw in the Daily Prophet. He was tall, strong and handsome man. Severus could feel the power surrounding him and he would swear it felt like electricity.

"Do sit down, dear Severus." Voldemort said quietly.

Voldemort remained standing.

"I have seen many young men with the same look in their eyes." Voldemort started. He was still talking quietly and Severus found himself strangely entranced by his voice. It had slight hissing quality at the end of words, barely audible. Severus briefly wondered what look Lord Voldemort meant, but he quickly concentrated on his another words.

"You have been wounded." Voldemort stated. "Not physically, of course, but . . . there is the feeling of great injustice in your eyes. I can see it. I can feel it."

Severus started to shiver. How could he possibly know about . . .?

"But I do know, my dear Severus." Voldemort continued in the same voice, although there was the slightest hint of amusement. "Your occlumency shields are admirable for your age. However, I do not need to use legilimency to understand people." And Snape believed him.

"There is only power and those too weak to seek it." Voldemort stated and Severus could feel the passion behind these words. "Sometimes it may seem like it is not the power you seek, but of course - THAT. IS. JUST. AN ILLUSION."

Voldemort paused and slowly walked around the mahagony table, until he was facing Severus directly.

"Everyone has his reasons for joining my cause, Severus. Some seek money, some seek status, fame . . . some are just angry . . . some seek revenge." Voldemort paused for o moment. "What do you seek, Severus?"

Severus briefly contemplated lying, but decided against it. "I want . . ." He murmured something barely audible.

"What was it?" Voldemort asked. Severus repeated it.

Voldemort looked thoughtful. "I see. Lucius mentioned this . . ." He stated and Severus froze in fear. Voldemort noticed and lifted his hand in a calming gesture. "Do not fear, young man. I am only interested in power. If someone prove themselves worthy, I do not care about their origins."

Voldemort seemed to rose even taller and his eyes flashed crimson. He was looking like some ancient god, standing in the fading light of sunset, shining through large window. "Let me explain something to you. Something that will change your life . . . You see, this whole world, no matter how advanced it is, is still ruled by the basic principles of the nature." The passion again. Severus listened closely to every single word.

"Where people see injustice, fate, gods, sadness, luck, misfortune, or love . . . I see weakness. People struggle against it, they fight, they deny it, but it is the truth. There is only power. Power is the constant. Do you want money? Fame? Status? Revenge on abusive father?" Severus winced.

"Become powerful and you will have it all. Become powerful and you will DESERVE it. You want . . . your woman? Become powerful."

Voldemort chuckled. "I can feel your doubts, young Severus, but natural laws cannot be broken. They cannot be bent, you cannot get around them. Nature compels every female to seek the BEST. POSSIBLE. MATE. Someone, who will bring her fortune. Someone, who can make sure her children will be strong. Someone, who can protect her from every danger. Become more powerful, and her feelings will change."

Flash of understanding apperated on Severus' face.

"Love is an illusion." Continued Voldemort. "No female will choose weaker male over stronger one. The nature itself prevents it. Become stronger than your opponent and her feelings will change. She may not understand why, but it doesn't matter. Suddenly, everything about your opponent starts to feel wrong for her. Incompatible. Who would want to stay with someone you could crush by snapping your fingers? How could she trust him with her children? Nature does not care for weak. It cares for powerful."

"One old fool would say that it's our choices that shows what we truly are, far more than our abillities." Snape knew he was talking about Dumbledore. He himself heard it from the old Headmaster.

"But I disagree. What choice does James Potter have, if he is dead?" Voldemort whispered menacingly, and Severus saw the monster everyone but Dumbledore feared.

"Become powerful and you will crush him. Join me and you will have your female."

And Severus did.


	2. Chapter 2

_Severus,_

_Why do you think it is called the Dark Arts? _

_Art is something indirectly made by nature - through us, wizards, and magical creatures. Everyone has natural instincts directing his life. To become something more than just a creature, an animal ruled by its instincts, you have to practice an art. _

_Practicing Dark Arts is a conscious action leading to improve yourself. There is a reason why the Dark Arts are banned by Ministry. Many people succumbed to the call of power, simply because of one crucial thing: Emotions._

_Of course, simply baning the Dark Arts is a disgrace, which poses a threat of Azkaban for every potential user, even the ones not actually using the Arts in a harmful way. And people wonder why I became a Dark Lord._

Severus choked. He was pretty sure the last line was a joke. The Dark Lord joking? Something must be wrong with Severus' head. He quickly continued reading though.

_You shall not study or practice the Dark Arts for wrong reasons, such as anger, sadness, pride or ambition. _

_You have to study and practice the Dark Arts because of the fundamental principle of things - it makes you stronger._

_There is only power and those too weak to seek it, Severus._

_That is the truth behind everything. _

_You suffer because you practiced the Dark Arts for wrong reasons - to impress a girl._

_Now you know the true reason - the reason, the WHY gaves you power over others. It allows you to master your emotions. You still feel them, but you are no longer ruled by them, because you know the principle, because you know why. _

_What does it tell you about yourself?_

_Do you feel bad? Do you feel neglected, abused, threatened, sad?_

_This is the feeling of weakness._

_Do not try to seek compassion. Powerful people naturally sympathize with other powerful people, weak sympathize with weak. You do not need sympathy, you need power._

_Dumbledore would of course disagree. He has this poisoning idea that love and sympathy helps. It does not. It makes you feel temporarily better, but in the long run it causes you to stagnate._

_Become powerful, Severus. We are waiting for you. _

_LV_

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It isn't hard to understand why the Dark Lord has succesfuly recruited nearly half of wizarding population. He was charizmatic, powerful and he appeared to share his power with everyone, who wanted to become part of the Death Eaters. Nothing is ever simply black or white. Who determines what is right? Lord Voldemort is a symbol of power for many people, even those who does not neccesarily want to kill, maim or torture.

It was many times said he is an immortal. People tremble when they hear his name. He is extremely intelligent. You may not agree with his ways, but you can certainly admire his other abilities. Severus didn't want to kill or torture, but he certainly wanted the power. He wanted power, he wanted his looks, he wanted his charisma, his self confidence.

And now he was getting letters from the Dark Lord himself. 16 years old, disliked by most of his house, mostly ignored by Profesors, shunned by Lily Evans, bullied by Marauders. They stopped bothering him, though. Information received from Lord Voldemort gave him something. He looked different. He felt different. Others slowly started to feel it.

Mulciber and Avery stopped acting like they owned him. Regulus Black shooted him curious glances. Simply because he knew - there is only power. Such knowledge, if you really understand the truth behind the statement, determines your life. You are no longer a child, naively looking around yourself, playing games invented by natural instincts, which, even though useful, simple emotion change could stop the progress.

If you know the truth though, you start to look for ways to make yourself stronger on everyday - every hour basis. Don't like Quidditch? Doesn't matter, because you want the physical strenght obtained by playing the sport. Don't like potions? Doesn't matter because you need to know everything that can make you stronger.

And Lily? Well, there was a progress. They met regularly in potions class, and often paired together by Slughorn - because they were the best. Severus started to understand his fascination with Lily. It wasn't just because of the sympathy he received, when they were younger, or that because she was his first friend. Lily was powerful. More than other girls. In fact, she was probably the most powerful female student at Hogwarts. She was good looking - evidence of some physical training, intelligent, good with spells. She was confident and wasn't afraid to voice her opinion or stood her ground against everything she considered wrong.

Severus now also understand why Lord Voldemort didn't object against her, despite her being a muggleborn. It had nothing to do with him. If he said he liked some weak muggleborn witch, Voldemort would object. But the Dark Lord viewed Lily as a potential recruit. It was all just an investment, he realized. A long term investment.

He realized another thing. He didn't view her before objectively. He didn't really try to understand her. He never tried to learn from her. Who helped him to realize? Dark Lord Voldemort.

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_Severus,_

_Everything is an investment. You invest part of your energy. If you do right actions, you recieve more energy than you invested._

_This is one of the most primitive principle of life, derived from eating. You put food inside your stomach, loosing a part of your energy for digestion. Afterwards, you recieve more energy than was used for the digestion. However - only if you eat the right food. _

_You have to use this principle while dealing with people. Do not associate yourself with weak. Seek potential. Find power at the early stage and cultivate it. _

_Socialization can accelerate your progress. Do not become a loner. Find people with abilities you want and spend time with them. Learn how do they do it._

_There is a reason why students start at Hogwarts so early. Curriculum doesn't really matter that much. People who teach do. Children subconsciously learn from powerful people. Their moves, their style, their self-awareness. _

_Muggleborns and muggle lovers do not understand. They try to implement muggle culture into schooling - such as spending more time with their parents. _

_Two years ago we pulled strings to stop the bill, proposing free floo access from school to visit their parents. _

_They do not understand that spending time with muggles or weak wizards would make them weaker, because they do not understand The Principle. _

_Surround yourself with the most powerful students. Including females. There are actions you can learn better from women. Elegance, finesse, dexterity. _

_ Spend more time with powerful Profesors. Slughorn, McGonagall, Flitwick, even Dumbledore. Analyze._

_Become powerful._

_LV_

Severus realized he behaved like a child with Lily. He wanted her attention, because it brought him good feelings. He was like a child hanging on his mother. He never tried to analyze Lily's overral behavior. She was better than her peers because of something she was regularly doing. Severus needed to find it, understand it and reproduce it. It would make him stronger in other ways than simple raw power. Severus had enough raw power. He needed finesse and elegance.

Lord Voldemort was often accompanied by Bellatrix Lestrange. Her marriage with Rodolphus was simple arranged formality. She was Voldemort's favourite, despite her young age. Severus saw her at the Malfoy party. He shuddered at the memory. She walked among those people like some predator. Everyone had to think really hard about their actions while she was arround. Most feared female in Britain. And Severus could see some similarities between her and Lily.

Females fight differently than males. They do not use as much raw power and rely on shields. More dodging, more charisma usage. Sexual usage. Fighting with beautiful woman is a lot harder than fighting an ugly man.

"Lily." Severus spoke quietly.

She tensed. "What?"

"I think we should continue sharing our experiments and new knowledge. I know things are . . . difficult between us, but it would be benefitial for both of us. It is better than to try everything yourself, when another has already tested the theory." Severus has some trouble with his speech and cursed in his mind.

She was looking at him suspiciously and he tried not to fidget. It was after all very reasonable.

"Very well." She agreed eventually.

They switched their books - both were writing notes right beside original instructions, and Severus felt he was finally making some progress.


End file.
